What In The Hell Is This Kylie Jenner Promotional Lip Gloss Video Even About And Why?

Here is a new promotional music video for Kylie Jenner’s latest lip kit offering, I think? For the uneducated: Kylie has already come out with a line of wildly popular “lip-kits” which are really just a liquid lipstick and a liner. They sell out every time she restocks. I hate myself a little bit for admitting this in a public space, but I am inordinately upset that I have yet to get my hands on them because regardless of what you think about King Kylie, she knows how to make an excellent nude lip.

Anyway! Here’s the video for her lip gloss, which will supposedly maybe be out tomorrow, April 1. Remember, also that April 1 is the worst day of the goddamn year, but something(various Snapchats of her in the factory making lip kits) tells me Kylie don’t play.

What, if anything, is going on here? There’s a drug/money/gun exchange. There’s Kylie, in a Louis Vuitton headscarf and a whole lotta Lewk, driving a convertible. There’s texting; then an ambush; then her friends, wearing lip gloss. There’s a lineup. None of it makes any sort of discernible sense. It’s all very derivative of….something, but it’s trickier to actually figure out what because Kylie’s entire look, god bless her, is a #problematic soup of references thrown in a Vitamix and pureéd for five minutes until smooth and covered in fake tanner.

Corroborating my suspicions that this is real and not a weird April Fools’ joke is this Instagram post, which leads me to believe that lip gloss is indeed on the way.

GLOSS #Like #Literally #SoCute

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

I welcome any theories about what this “Bitch Better Have My Money”-derivative video really means, man, in the comments.