Sad Ben Affleck Is Really Very Sad That No One Liked “Batman v Superman”

The latest Marvel  D.C. offering Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is, from what the reviews say, not very good. “Like a big, wet glob of fetid bird droppings tumbling down from the sky, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice has landed with an audible splat,” writes Dave Schilling at the Guardian“It is about as diverting as having a porcelain sink broken over your head,” writes venerable movie critic A.O. Scott at the New York Times.  And, even though it made $170 million at the  box office this weekend, it’s still limping in at a cool and hilariously bad 29% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Maybe that’s why Ben Affleck is so goddamn sad.

In this clip from some press junket in a windowless box, Affleck becomes sadder and sadder as his co-star, sentient pair of cheekbones and pouty lips Henry Cavill, prattles on in response to the interviewer’s question about the negative reviews of their very-expensive-but-not-very-good movie.

Some YouTube genius zoomed in on Baffleck’s face and set the whole thing to the plaintive strains of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence.” What is he thinking about? Is he wishing his back tattoo was real? Does he miss Jen? Is he cataloguing the list of events that led to him, Ben Affleck, former wunderkind and current douchebag dad, to star in a fairly tepid movie about superheroes? Is he thinking about how he should’ve gone the indie route? Does he understand that what’s happening on his face is happening in public and not in private?

It’s okay, Sad Ben Affleck. Don’t be sad. Your movie may not be very good, but you still have a ton of money and are a Famous and will be for longer than you want to be, probably. Take solace in that.