May We All Find A Love Like Jon Lovitz and This Famous-ish Rando

Close your eyes and picture yourself in a secret relationship with a famous, wealthy actor 31 years your senior. Picture this funny, kind man proposing. Picture all the likes you’ll get when you post your engagement ring on Instagram. Now picture the man. Let me guess — Jon Lovitz?

27-year-old actor Jessica Lowndes, best known for the CW’s 90210 revival, is living her dream of getting married to Jon Lovitz. The couple revealed their relationship in an inspired series of posts over the weekend on Lowndes’ Instagram (because Lovitz is old.)

Imagine this content as it should be consumed: as a reality show taped to the inside of your eyelids.

And I love me some old cows… 😘🐄

A photo posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on

His hands are wise and tell a thousand stories… #smitten #hatersgonnahate 🙊❤️👻 snap: realjlowndes

A photo posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on

This photo, on the other hand, tells two stories:
1. I’m dating a man with liver spots.
2. Follow me on Snapchat.

You say sugar daddy but I say ice cream daddy! Lol 🍨🍦😍 #SweptoffMyFeet #ExtraSprinklesPleaseDaddy💁🏻

A photo posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on

How long will #ExtraSprinklesPleaseDaddy be burned into your brain?

Being happy never goes out of style ☺️💕

A video posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on

“I haven’t been hacked… I’m just marrying Jon Lovitz.”

This could be, truly, anyone’s hand.

When bae films you waking up in the morning… 😂❤️😍 #TooOldToUseHashtags #MrBig

A video posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on

Fin.