Lollapalooza Officially Becomes The Retirement Village of Music Festivals As Full 2016 Lineup Announced

Danielle Henderson | March 23, 2016 - 1:30 pm

Did I step through a portal back to 1993? This year’s full Lollapalooza lineup is a mixed bag of irrelevant oldies and confused newbies who could be headlining tours in their own right.

Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and LCD Soundsystem are among the main headliners, but Jane’s Addiction will also appear—a perk of lead singer Perry Farrell being the one who created this festival. I swear to god I saw this show in 1994 at Jones Beach. Raise ‘dem glowsticks!

Haim, M83, and Grimes are probably wondering why they’re not on their own tours, and Lana Del Rey is going to crawl out of her crypt and grace us with her presence (but probably not in the daytime hours, when her skin is at its most vulnerable). Kurt Vile and and the Silversun Pickups snuck in there, too. The rest of the lineup is a wall of text that my old eyes can neither see nor decipher.

Lollapalooza will take place from July 28-31 in Chicago, if you dare.