A Hellmouth Opens Under Texas As Jeb Bush Endorses Ted Cruz

The Republican party seems to be on a quest to stop the Frankenstein’s monster of their own making, Donald Trump, from actually becoming president, which might explain why Jeb Bush just endorsed Ted “The Zodiac Killer” Cruz.

In a statement released this morning, Bush put out a call to action to overcome the “divisiveness and vulgarity¬†Donald Trump has brought into the political arena.” I love how he’s able to act like Trump happened in a vacuum.

In his praise of Cruz, Bush said:

“Ted is a consistent, principled conservative who has demonstrated the ability to appeal to voters and win primary contests,” Bush wrote in the statement released this morning. “Washington is broken, and the only way Republicans can hope to win back the White House and put our nation on a better path is to support a nominee who can articulate how conservative policies will help people rise up and reach their full potential.”

Demonstrated the what? Appealed to the who? It’s almost as if Bush retreated to his mom’s basement to write presidential fanfiction as soon as he dropped out of the race.