This Cruel World At Least Has Meat Vending Machines Now

A butcher in Paris has created a meat vending machine, despite a meat vending machine being the most beautiful American thing I can possibly imagine.

There are lots of butcher shops in the area, but sometimes they close when people are (probably drunk) and still want meats. And so, geniuses Florence and Michel Pouzol of have decided to vacuum pack said meats and sell them 24/7.

“We’re closed two days: Sundays and Mondays,” Florence told the Associated Press. “So this is to cater for customers over the weekend… The idea was also to serve people after the shop’s closing hours. We close at 8 p.m. but some people leave work very late and find the shop closed when they walk past it.”

“When you finish work at 7 p.m., it’s very convenient to have this machine available,” said one French person, who did a very good job at pretending this is a practical shopping option and not just a revelation for everyone in Paris who drinks alcohol.

In an exclusive interview for journalism, Frisky editor and meat enthusiast Rebecca Vipond Brink commented on this exciting development.

“This thing has been sent down from heaven,” Brink told me via Slack. “I [often think], ‘Wow I am really hungry and I need protein’ [or] ‘WHERE CAN I GET HAM?'”

“I am basically powered by meat, meat goes in words come out,” Brink added. “I want one of those in my living room.”

“My dream is alive,” Brink continued, despite no one even talking about meat anymore. “This is the best food-related invention in the history of mankind.”

[Associated Press]