Richard Simmons Is Not Being Held Hostage, He Just Wants Some Alone Time

Over the weekend, the New York Daily News dropped a whopper of a story, investigating the whereabouts of curly-haired fitness moppet Richard Simmons. According to the Daily News’s very long investigative feature, Simmons hasn’t been seen in public in almost two years, because he’s being held hostage in his own home by his maid, who may or may not be a witch.

The story is told mostly from POV of Mauro Oliveira, a Brazilian orphan who made his way to the Simmons inner circle. It also involves Teresa Reveles, Simmons’ maid and the aforementioned  maybe-black-magic-witch. Here’s what Oliveira and Simmons’ last encounter was like:

After receiving an ominous phone call from Simmons, Oliveira had driven his truck to the Hollywood Hills, past the two metal gates that Simmons had left ajar for him, and into the driveway. He reached the porch through the white columns that recalled an antebellum Southern mansion, and past Simmons’ bronze statue of a regal Dalmatian.

Wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, a gaunt Simmons led Oliveira through the foyer, and into the living room. ‘Mauro, we can no longer see each other,’ Simmons told him in a quiet, defeated voice.

‘What’s going on, Richard?’ Oliveira asked. ‘Why are you saying that?’

‘I don’t know,’ Simmons replied. ‘I just want to be by myself, and I want to be in the house, and we’re never going to see each other again.’”

Egads! Throughout the entire piece, Oliveira insists over and over again that Simmons is actually being controlled by black magic at the hands of Reveles, the housekeeper. Now, all is revealed, from the mouth of Simmons himself. He’s fine! He’s totally fine. He just wanted some alone time.

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight on Sunday, Simmons said, “I am not kidnapped, I am just in my house right now. No one should be worried about me. The people that surround me are wonderful people who take great care of me.”

Directly addressing the allegations raised by the Daily News report that his housekeeper is a black magic practitioner holding him hostage, Simmons also told Savannah Guthrie in a phone interview Sunday, “No one is holding me in my house as a hostage! You know, I do what I want to do as I’ve always done so people should sort of just believe what I have to say because like I’m Richard Simmons!””

As for Reveles, Simmons said, “That’s just very silly. Teresa Reveles has been with me for 30 years. It’s almost like we’re a married couple . . . I just sort of wanted to be a loner for a while.”

There you have it! Richard Simmons is not being held hostage in his home by a witch/maid/black magic woman. Like you and me and everyone else, he just wants to be alone. Let Richard Simmons live!