Live Deliciously: Vote For Black Phillip in 2016

Are you tired of liberal infighting? Do you feel like Trump is pretty bad but not awful enough to actually cause the apocalypse? Does Cthulhu’s campaign promise to relocate everyone to R’lyeh sound unappealing? If none of the candidates speak to you, perhaps Black Phillip will.

The giant black goat was the indie darling of Sundance back in 2014 for his role in The Witch, the arthouse horror flick that came out in February. Whether you think The Witch was overhyped and too slow and boring or so scary that the trailer makes you want to pee your pants, you have to agree that Black Phillip gets things done.

Black Phillip is being coy about a presidential run, but you can show your support for the goat with the most with these awesome Black Phillip T-shirts.

If you’ve already seen The Witch (aka The VVitch, but we don’t condone such fuckery), read up on Black Phillip’s on-set shenanigans. If you haven’t, don’t even look at a GIF! Get yourself to a movie theater stat. If we can’t convince you, perhaps the Temple of Satan can.