Boy! Did We Ever Get Triggered By #TheTriggering!

Dear Frisky Readers–

I am currently writing to you from a padded fallout shelter in an undisclosed location. Why? Because yesterday, I clicked on #TheTriggering on Twitter, and I was so deeply traumatized by all the “politically incorrect truths” dropped by so many fearless crusaders for free speech who are sick and tired of people violating their First Amendment rights by not agreeing with them, by calling them bigots for saying bigoted things, and by blocking them on Twitter.

Truly, I have the vapours! Never in my life have I seen so many hard facts and truths that were definitely not just some random person’s opinion in my life!

For those of you who have remained blissfully unaware, #TheTriggering is a two-day event taking place yesterday and today on social media, the point of which is for internet jerks to strike out against the “Social Justice Warriors,” feminists, LGBTQ people, people of color and others who have cruelly oppressed them with “Cultural Marxism,” by saying the exact same things they say on Twitter all the time anyway!

And boy, did they ever! They really got us! I mean, man, I was sobbing all night! And also exploding, just like these people predicted I would! How do they know me so well?

It’s true. That is just how I reacted. But not just because of all the hard truths I could not handle because I am so delicate. The thing is, I really learned some things here. Like the fact that it is incredibly oppressive for overweight women to feel good about themselves when these people would prefer that they did not, that freedom of speech means you get to tell someone what gender they are and they have to agree with you, and also that no one should ever be allowed to criticize anything you say or call you racist or sexist just for saying racist or sexist things. Also that the First Amendment means that you can’t block people on Twitter or refuse to engage in “debate” with them. Here I was thinking that it just meant that the government couldn’t throw you in jail!

I mean, my god–how cruel have we been to these people? All they want to do is to repeatedly insult people and have those same people think they’re awesome and super cool, to tell people how they are allowed to feel about themselves, and to live in a world where they are repeatedly congratulated for being white people. Also for women to get back in the kitchen where they belong, and to be allowed to chew with their mouths open at the dinner table without anyone being grossed out. You know, freedom! Is that so hard?

Anyway, click through the gallery to see the tweets that made me reach for the smelling salts!