Monopoly Is Getting Rid Of Cash And Bankers But Keeping The Economic Dread

In a move to modernize the game of Monopoly, Hasbro is exchanging its iconic Monopoly money for fake payment cards that players will use, much like debit or credit cards. Although this new contactless form of payment might more accurately portray the way we buy and sell property now, it completely drains the game of its color (literally), and seems counterintuitive for a board game to remove some of its physical qualities. We already have a Monopoly  app! Why take the fun out of the actual game?

Attempting to separate the experience of playing Monopoly from the corrupt reality of how money passes through hands seems contradictory.  After all, isn’t the whole point of Monopoly to give us a view of how the capitalist economy works? If the visual exchange of cash is removed from the experience of buying property and accruing power, then the game is just reduced to a bunch of tokens jumping around and collecting buildings without the risk of a shady banker, and really where’s the economic honesty if we don’t have the constant anxiety that our friend is secretly handing us miscounted stacks of fake money as a passive aggressive way of getting back at us for not covering their taco two weeks back?

Plus, it’s just way more fun playing with stacks of beautiful fake money, than it is adding up fake digital card swipes. This feels like Monopoly is removing all the magic of the game and replacing it with pure reality. If Monopoly’s intention is actually to show it like it is when it comes to our current economy, they would still delegate a banker who would be able to send the digital fake money offshore and make secret investments, but we’re not doing that, so JUST LET US HAVE OUR STACKS OF FUCKING PINK MONEY, OKAY?!?!

Obviously this is an issue hitting close to my paper-money grubbing heart, but honestly if I wanted an accurate experience of the economy in social form I could just go scroll Venmo and “like” and “comment” on every post.

(The Merkle)