GOP Debate Bullshit Report: Yes, Trump University Was Definitely A YUGE Scam

It was a little hard to keep up with what relevant things were actually being last night in the Fox News GOP debate–what with all the screaming back and forth, and Ted Cruz’s lip booger distraction, and Donald Trump droning on and on and on about how great he is. Still, there were some significant moments in bullshit that we should definitely discuss.

Trump University Is For Sure A Scam

During the debate, Donald Trump was grilled a little on the ongoing lawsuits against the failed Trump University, by the many, many students who say they were scammed. He insisted it wasn’t, and that everyone loved it (except, we guess, the people suing him?) and that it was given an A by the Better Business Bureau.

However, the current BBB rating for Trump University is a D. Also, take a look for yourself at the way the institution screwed a retiree out of $35,000–in exchange for which all he got was a picture of himself with a cutout of Donald Trump.

People were bilked out of tens of thousands of dollars, and they got nothing in exchange for that. They were offered “free” seminars that were basically just marketing pitches to convince them to buy the more expensive seminars (which ranged from three day seminars costing $1,495, to packages costing up to $35,000), and all the more expensive seminars taught were things they could have Googled themselves.

The kind of sad thing is that Trump University wasn’t even that good of a scam, comparatively. I mean, Scientology has been far more successful, long term. Trump opened Trump University in 2005, and only made it about 8 years until this lawsuit was filed. People happily give their life savings to these groups over decades before they realized they’ve been screwed, and yet Trump University students realized they’d been had fairly early on.

Marco Rubio Thinking He Has Standing To Criticize Trump University

Trump University was straight up evil–but so are the for-profit colleges Rubio is always stanning for, which take advantage of low-income students and veterans. He specifically asked the US Department of Education to be “lenient” in its investigation of Corinthian Colleges–a for-profit network of schools accused of lying to prospective students about what their job opportunities will be after they graduate. The reason these schools aren’t accredited, as Rubio would like them to be, is because they scam people. Plain and simple.

John Kasich Thinks He’s The Most Normal Human There, Presents As A Reasonable Moderate

John Kasich is not a moderate. He is merely better at concealing his evil by having some semblance of social grace. That makes him all the more dangerous.

We’re Totally Gonna Bring Manufacturing Jobs Back To Detroit!

Several of the candidates said they planned to do this. And sure, it sounds good! Rustbelt cities like Detroit, and my hometown of Rochester, NY, were totally screwed by companies moving those jobs overseas. The massive layoffs at Kodak and Xerox were heartbreaking to see when I was growing up. I would love to see those jobs come back.

However! What these candidates fail to recognize, is that with the anti-labor, anti-union policies they’ve advocated for and put in place over the years will mean that those jobs, were they to come back to the United States, wouldn’t pay anything close to what they used to. Michigan is a right-to-work state now, which means unions have very little bargaining power. Without union and labor protections, these jobs would likely not pay much more than working at McDonald’s does.

The reason manufacturing jobs became jobs people could earn a decent living off of was because of unions and the labor movement. These were not jobs that paid well right off the bat–people fought, they went to jail, they even died in the pursuit of labor rights. It was a hard won battle that lasted for years and years.

When I tweeted about this last night, some idiot came at me trying to say that people would get paid more than minimum wage because “The Market” would decide what those jobs were worth. “The Market,” however, does not have a history of ascribing much value to those jobs, both in our own past prior to the labor movement, and right now with the use of sweatshop labor, child labor, and even slave labor.

I am fiercely opposed to free trade. I want these jobs to come back. But without union and labor protections (what Republicans refer to as “the regulations that are killing this country”), there isn’t much of a point. We don’t just need more minimum wage jobs. We need jobs that pay people a wage they can live off of.

Trump Says Marco Rubio Is the Only Person To Suggest He Has Small Hands

FALSE. Graydon Carter, an editor at Spy Magazine, used to refer to Trump as a “short-fingered vulgarian” back in the ’80s. This apparently upset Trump SO MUCH that to this day he still sends Carter pictures of his hands on a regular basis.

The most recent offering arrived earlier this year, before his decision to go after the Republican presidential nomination. Like the other packages, this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: “See, not so short!” I sent the picture back by return mail with a note attached, saying, “Actually, quite short.” Which I can only assume gave him fits.

Ted Cruz Thinks SCOTUS Has Left Marriage Laws Up To The States For Two Centuries

YEAH, NOT SO MUCH DUDE. Ever heard of a little decision called Loving v. Virginia? Yup! The Supreme Court stepped in and decided that states could not outlaw interracial marriages.

By the way! This, too, was considered an issue of “religious liberty” and “states’ rights.” It remained one, in fact, for years and years after this decision as well. In 1983, Bob Jones University (a Christian College) took to the Supreme Court to demand that they retain their tax exempt status, which was denied to them based on the fact that they banned students in interracial marriages. They lost.

The Republican Party Being A Family Values Party

This isn’t a thing that was discussed much at the debate last night–but I think it needs to be pointed out. Now, if the only “family values” you have are hating gay people and abortions, then I guess you can still say the GOP is the party of those values.

But–if your idea of family values at least somewhat includes teaching your kids to be decent human beings with good manners–I’m not sure how you can support Donald Trump being president. What are you gonna do when you’ve told your kids that he’s a great man who deserves to be President, and they look to him as a role model? How are you going to tell them they can’t make fun of people with disabilities or Prisoners of War or make lewd comments about how women look and whether or not they’re on their period, when you are OK with that behavior coming from your commander in chief?

Maybe you don’t care that the rest of the world will laugh at us if Trump becomes president, but for heaven’s sake, think about what lessons you’re teaching your own kids if he does.

Addendum

Dear people on the left–WE CANNOT LET TRUMP HAPPEN. We cannot let any of these monsters happen. So please, please, please–stop doing the thing where you say you won’t vote if your candidate doesn’t win, because it’s giving me palpitations. Sanders supporters? Stop going after Clinton! Clinton supporters? Stop going after Sanders! People who aren’t sure either candidate is progressive enough? Stop it! We cannot give them any goddamned ammo. We just can’t. If we lose this race, we lose the Supreme Court, and even if we had the most glorious, perfect, entirely non-problematic President ever in 2020, it wouldn’t matter, because they would not be able to do jack shit without the Supreme Court.