Apparently If You Wanna Bang Scott Disick You Gotta Sign Some Paperwork

As of last fall, Scott Disick is fresh out of the sexless prison of a Malibu rehab and navigating the world of singledom in the only way he knows how, which is as a scuzzy-yet-successful human sex machine. The 32-year-old baby-daddy of Kourney Kardashian has been maintaining his cool-guy party image by hanging out with college kids at spring break (hell yeah), and is currently chilling in Mexico with the founder of Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis.

Undoubtedly undoing all of his rehab progress one day at a time, it’s been recently rumored¬†that if you are interested in partaking in Disick’s ravenous sex life there are a few requirements. First of all, you must check your cellphone in a baggie before banging (so no selfies can be taken), and secondly and most terrifyingly, women are required to sign an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) form before going back to Disick’s room.

This new information will likely cause me to spend hours parsing whether those stipulations make his image grosser or more appealing. Forms or no forms, he’s closing a lot of deals.