The S.S. Irony Sinks Itself As Mitt Romney Calls Donald Trump A ‘Phony’

Animated turkey jerky Mitt Romney’s leaked speech about Donald Trump “playing the American public for suckers” is about as close to a bitch slap as we’ve gotten in this presidential race so far. Romney isn’t even running; he’s just upset that Trump, the KKK-endorsing bloviating bag of wind, might be a bad look for the political party he loves so much.

According to BBC News, the Republican party is backing away from Trump like a grown-ass woman who sees a millipede in her apartment, runs away, and refuses to go home until her best friend comes over to find and kill it (true story).

“Here’s what I know: Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud,” Mr Romney says, according to a leaked transcript of his remarks. “His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University,” he is quoted as saying.

Damn, girl! Even House Speaker Paul Ryan is upset with Trump, and he’s basically a robot set on “derp.”

Mr Ryan said on Tuesday that nominees “must reject any group or cause that is built on bigotry. This party does not prey on people’s prejudices”.

Everyone is joining in!

Senator and majority leader Mitch McConnell said: “Let me make it perfectly clear, Senate Republicans condemn David Duke and the KKK, and his racism.”

Trump rival Marco Rubio indicated in his speech on Tuesday that the Republican establishment was unlikely to back the former reality TV star.

“If this was anybody else as a front-runner, there’d be people right now saying ‘Let’s all rally around the front-runner,'” he said, adding, “that will never happen with Donald Trump”.

I’m all for anyone denouncing blatant racism, but when will the Republican party realize that Trump is a monster of their own making? It’s not like Mitt Romney hasn’t had his fair share of racial controversy—remember this? Or this?—but things have to be pretty bad for Trump when someone with marginal racial sensitivity is telling him to pull back on the reins a little. Is this the beginning of a kinder, gentler Republican Party?