Who Is Responsible For The Monstrosity On Ben Affleck’s Back?
Ben Affleck, welcome to the Thunderdome of public opinion! We know that your back tattoo wasn’t supposed to be for public consumption, but we have questions. At least two of your exes have weighed in on it so far, and the reviews aren’t good. Jennifer Garner didn’t say it was ugly per se, but just dissed the entire idea of being the ashes his stupid phoenix is rising from, telling Vanity Fair, “I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.”
Jennifer Lopez was less diplomatic on Watch What Happens Live, and who can blame her? “It’s awful! What are you doing?… I mean, I would tell him that. I would tell him, ‘What are you doing?’ It has too many colors. His tattoos always have too many colors. They shouldn’t be so colorful. You know what I mean?”
Well, let’s agree to disagree on that point. It’s more just that Batfleck looks like he volunteered as a “human canvas” on Ink Master and will be back next season for Tattoo Nightmares. But is it actually worse than the other ink he has? Ummm, no. Dude has a dolphin that looks like a black blob on his hip. Either way, the question remains: Who the hell is responsible for this nightmare? And why doesn’t an actor worth millions shell out for excellent body art? The great news is that tattoo removal technology is improving all the time!
We look forward to Ben answering such pressing questions when he goes on an endless world tour of press junkets for his upcoming movie, Batman v. Superman, in March.