Kylie Jenner and Kylie Minogue Are Fighting Over Who Gets To Trademark The Name “Kyilie”

Kylie Minogue and Kylie Jenner are embroiled in  what will soon be my favorite legal battle of all time: the fight for who gets to trademark the name “Kylie.”

According to the Guardian, Kylie Jenner has been trying to trademark the name in the U.S. KDB, the firm representing Kylie Minogue filed a motion to block that application, claimging that Kylie Jenner will dilute the Kylie Minogue brand and that 2 Kylies will kause konfusion.

In what the Guardian is British-ly descrbing as a “sick burn”(LOOOL), KDB called Jenner a “secondary reality television personality,” listing out also various complaints from groups of people that Kylie Jenner has offended via her fondness for appropriating black culture and also for that one time she posed in a wheelchair. 

As someone whose qualifications to make a decision about this include hours of Law and Order: SVU watched and the fact that I’m a Libra, I’m pretty sure that Kylie Jenner needs to take a seat on this one. Here’s a certified banger from Kylie Minogue, circa 2001.

In 2001, Kylie Jenner was 4 years old. Minogue wins. Court adjourned.