Make It Stop: Did I Ruin Everything By Getting Drunk On This Date?!

Last night, I had a date with a great guy, “Greg.” We met on a dating site and to my delight, he’s a catch. We went out for drinks, and it was fantastic except for one thing: after four cocktails, I got DRUNK. Fast forward to today and I’m quite upset about my behavior. I want to continue seeing Greg, but I don’t want last night to be his only impression of me. I haven’t heard from him since our date last night and I’m starting to panic. How do I salvage this? What could I possibly say to him today to get back in his good graces?

We’ve all done the wake ’n’ cringe. I’m sure last night is replaying in your head on a continuous loop like a GIF. You slurring the word “another” to the bartender. You laughing a little too loudly when he made fun of the new Facebook reaction emoji. You almost slipping off the barstool. You trying to conceal a burp in the sleeve of your dress. Who could forget that gem? You can’t!

Instead of cowering, you should own last night’s behavior. Yeah, you got a little looped. So what? In the scheme of things, you didn’t do anything too bad. It’s not like you crashed his car into a large body or water, or spent his life savings on a set of collectible porcelain dolls. You got tipsy on a first date; it’s not the end of the world. As long as you didn’t puke on his shoes or loop his necktie around your head and salute the bar, you’re probably fine.

There’s nothing you could say to change whatever impression he has of you. That ship has sailed. I’m sure your impulse is to apologize profusely to Greg, but I’d implore you to step away from your phone. Resist the urge to pressure him for another chance at a date. He might even sense your desperation to fix things, which is why he’s taking a step back. Give him all the time he needs, gather what dignity you have left and move on. Give Greg space and hope he reaches out.

Besides, if he’s the kind of guy to get all bent out of shape when you’re a little tipsy, he may not be such a good fit for you after all. Relationships are messy and if you can’t tell with you a little nervous and a little drunk, then maybe he’s not the one.

If you do hear from him, say you had a great time seeing him and leave it at that. Don’t apologizejust thank him for a fun date. Think about it; what would he rather hear? “Sorry I was a total lush,” or, “Thanks for a fabulous time!” Be positive and put your sloppy drunkenness out of your mind.

And if you do get the chance to go on another date with Greg, either limit your alcoholic intake or eat something beforehand so you’ll be less likely to get drunk. And in the future, if you’re susceptible to overdoing it with alcohol, maybe stay away from a bar on a first date. Suggest day dates or stick to coffee or meals so you won’t be in this position again.