Man Legally Changes Name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger, Jumps Up On List of My Future Husbands

For me, a night of drinking usually turns into a night of eating candy on the couch and watching Real Housewives reruns, but a Boston man used one drunken evening to make a life-changing decision.

Simon Smith legally changed his name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger, because alcohol turns reckless men into a tire fire of hubris.

“It was the culmination of probably too many drinks in the pub where there was a conversation about names,” the 33-year-old British citizen told the Evening Standard. “Bacon Double Cheeseburger was pretty much the first thing that came up. Everyone loves bacon don’t they?”

This is both a lie and the worst reason to change your name ever, but good luck with registering for a hotel room ever again without someone thinking you’ve pulled a prank!