James Franco Goes Back In Time To Get Rid Of His Terrible Goatee

If someone comes to you and tells you that 1) they have a time machine closet in their restaurant and 2) it’s now your job to go back in time and prevent the Kennedy assassination because they’re dying of cancer, would you do it?

James Franco would! As Jake Epping, freshly divorced high school history teacher on the new Hulu drama 11.22.63, he wastes no time throwing himself into the whacked-out world of espionage, time travel, and great suits, but he definitely makes some mistakes along the way.

1. Maybe you should ask if time traveling caused your friend’s cancer before you hop in there? 
Like, that is the first thing I want to know.

2. Never try to reach out to family members
Everyone from Futurama to Back to the Future has covered this, Jake! Reaching out to family members is the number one way to screw up your own timeline. He tries to call his dad, and something terrible happens immediately. LEARN FROM THIS.

3. Know your currency rates before you travel
His restaurant friend gave him a book of stats to help him earn money by gambling, and Jake almost blows it right away by placing a huge (by 1960s standards) bet at the parlor. Always do the math before you go.

4. Maybe help your friends out first
The show starts with one of Jake’s adult students reading a story about the terrible way his family was murdered when he was a child. Jake eventually decides to help out, but only after he royally screws up his Kennedy mission. Maybe try to help this guy out first? I mean, you have three years to plan this Kennedy thing.

5. Go back and restart the first time you mess up
Restaurant Dude already told you that if you jump back through the closet, anything you did in 1960 will be erased. The first time you screw up, jump back to the present, man! Otherwise you’re just going to undo all the good stuff later!

The only good thing he did was immediately shave off that terrible goatee.