Carrot Cake Hershey’s Kisses Exist, And I Demand Answers

Guys, Hershey’s is releasing carrot cake Hershey’s Kisses for Easter. What is wrong with Hershey’s? Everything is wrong with Hershey’s. It’s like Hershey’s is running a 105 temperature and these carrot cake-flavored Kisses are its terrible fever dream.

On what planet would this be delicious? Is Hershey’s trying to make carrot cake the new pumpkin spice? Are we about to be inundated with carrot-cake flavored potato chips and lattes and vodkas? Can we all agree that carrot cake Clif bars are the best Clif bars? Is carrot cake legitimately tasty if it doesn’t have raisins in it? Will the Kisses feature the artificial flavor of a carrot cake that has raisins, or a carrot cake that doesn’t have raisins?

And what about the cream cheese frosting? Is cream cheese frosting really compactable into an artificial flavor in the middle of a Hershey’s Kiss? If you tasted the flavor of cream cheese frosting and it was room-temperature, wouldn’t you fear for your health, even if you knew that it was just cream cheese flavor and didn’t in fact contain any dairy?

I’m very overwhelmed by all of this. Stop trying to make carrot cake fetch, Hershey’s.


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