Make It Stop: How Do I Stop Feeling Like A Sad Singleton On Valentine’s Day?

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but with Valentine’s Day looming around the corner, I’m getting depressed about not being in a relationship. I know I shouldn’t care and I’ve been giving myself constant pep talks—I’m nice, smart and funny!—but I’m the only single person in my group of friends and it stings. What can I do so I don’t feel so sad about my singlehood?

I wish I could punch every conversation heart, single red rose, and box of cheap-ass chocolates in the nose for you. Of course it feels like the world is in an exclusive club of prix fixe dinners over candlelight. That’s what’s shoved down your throat every time you pop into CVS to snap up a bottle of Opti-Free PureMoist from Dec. 26th through Feb. 14th. For real. Every frenzied card display at Target is a personal affront for two solid months. I’m surprised the local news isn’t wall-to-wall reports of people losing their shit towards one of those pink and red displays; tearing teddy bears limb from limb and smashing Ferrero Rocher boxes willy-nilly.

It’s not easy to be single sometimes and a few days before Valentine’s Day is one of them, unfortunately. Maybe don’t fight it. Endure the pain. Let the feelings of sadness wash over you as they come. Do whatever you normally do to get through your blue periods. Eat a giant bowl of ramen. Watch “Master of None” again. Learn to knit. Call your best friend from high school. Play Candy Crush Jelly Saga. It’s okay to be sad.

But if you’re scrunching your nose at this suggestion, then maybe it’s time you surrounded yourself with more single friends. It’s not so much that misery loves company, although that’s part of it. My hunch is you’d be happier with companions that make sense for where you are in your life right now.

And, single friends will empathize with your sadness better. They won’t offer the kind of empty platitudes coupled-up friends have known to say like, “You never know what’s around the corner!” or “There’s a lid for every pot!” No, your single friends will be like, “Man, this dumb ass holiday sucks. Wanna grab tacos?” I’m not saying making more single friends will solve your sadness, it’ll just turn the volume down a few notches which might be all you need.

The good news is this candy-hearted clusterfuck of a holiday will be in your rearview mirror soon and the universe will reward you for your struggles by ushering in Cadbury Egg season. Be strong! And when you find yourself in a relationship down the line, pay it forward. Be the kind of friend you wish you had when you were single.

*Plays a video of “The Circle of Life” on YouTube*