Kim Kardashian’s Best Friend Jonathan Cheban Is Opening A School For Rich Kids

Oh boy. Jonathan Cheban, the dude who kind of looks like Scott Disick, is Kim Kardashian’s best friend. He also owns a restaurant and fancies himself a lifestyle mogul, so it makes total sense that his next step is to open the International School Of New York, a school situated in an office suite in a Trump Tower.

As the self-styled “Dean of Pop Culture,” Cheban will be responsible for teaching the wealthy youths of America how precisely to work around that giant, diamond-laden silver spoon planted firmly in their mouth. He told New You:

“I am developing the entire pop culture program for this school here in the Trump Tower. Wealthy kids from all over the world will learn things about private aviation, social media, quality of diamonds, types of caviar, mixed in with economics and other fundamental undergrad and grad classes. This is the social stuff you need to know to survive in a city like this with a lot of money. If you are buying a diamond you need to know the clarity and if you are buying a private jet you need to know the different leathers and seats. “

Yes! Thank god. I have oft wondered how the exorbitantly wealthy learn about things like diamonds, caviar and the mysterious and ever-shifting world of private aviation. How does one comport themselves on a private jet? What do you even do on a private jet? Do you have to wear your seat belt? Can you smoke? Will leather choice affect the aerodynamics of the plane?

It seems the wealthy are just born knowing these things, inherited like the Barbour jacket they bum around in on the weekends and the giant, twinkling diamond earrings that weigh down the earlobes of a nine-year old, so I’m R E L I E V E D beyond belief that someone is finally helping them out!!!

No word on when this school will open or what Cheban’s actual credentials are to run said school. Seeing as he’s wrapped up in “39 businesses”, all of which drive him “nuts,” I’m sure it will be a while. The world eagerly awaits.

[New You]