Chill Adult Man Creates Very Strict Boundary In Bed With A Laser Beam

Sleeping in the same bed with someone is one of life’s greatest treasures — or worst nightmares — depending on how it all rolls out. What starts out as a sweet, loving embrace usually devolves into a battle waged in the small hours of the morning, over comforters, sheet entanglement, kicking and snoring. The perfect angel that you bedded just hours before, sleeping like a tiny precious creature, is now a devil intent on colonizing every spare inch of the bed you willingly share.

Resolve this by a gentle but firm nudge, adjust your sleeping arrangements and carry on with your life. Or, if you’re that kind of person — you know the kind —take a measuring tape to your absolutely enormous king size bed, then go get a laser beam level that clearly draws a line between one side of the bed from another, then post it on Imgur and Reddit, as a sort of public service.

“In our house there is no debate,” reads the caption. “ONLY DATA.” Very chill.

If you look closely at the picture, you’ll see that even though this is a king sized bed, there are two separate sides of the bed, plus a remote control held by a disembodied hand. This is one of those fancy beds that allows each person to control their side. One would think that the actual demarcation provided by the two separate box springs would be enough, but apparently this is war.

A king sized bed is big enough to accommodate, at minimum, two human bodies, one cat, a laptop, three books, a puppy-sized dachshund and at least 3 of the remote controls required to operate the television. You can sleep in a king-sized bed with an entire village made of takeout containers and old sweatshirts between you and the other person in that bed without even feeling the other person breathe. I’m saying, there’s room.

I wish this man the best of luck in his endeavors and extend my apologies to the person lucky enough to share that bed with him. Will he ever have sex again? Probably not!

[Cosmopolitan]