Praise Andy Cohen, Teresa Giudice Is Returning To “The Real Housewives Of New Jersey”

Praise all that is good and holy in this world: Teresa Giudice, table flipper and felon, has exited one prison and run straight into the arms of another, as she will return to the seventh season of Real Housewives Of New Jersey.

Giudice will be joined by her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga and cast member Jacqueline Laurita, returning to the show after a year-long hiatus. “Sometimes a little break is all I need to jump back in and bring my best! Looking forward to new beginnings. XOXO,” she said. Girl, I mean…

Nothing about this show is positive or uplifting for culture in general, but that’s not what we look for when we look for reality television programming. We look for table flipping and “prostitution whores” and as long as both members of the evil exchange are clear in their intentions, all good.

In this season, Giudice will be exploring life as a single parent as her husband Joe Giudice gets ready to go to prison at the end of March. She’ll also be working on fixing the fractured relationship with Melissa. Loyal viewers of the show will recall that Teresa and Melissa once got into it over some sprinkle cookies that made an appearance at Thanksgiving. Teresa, for the record, prefers a pignoli cookie, and don’t you ever forget it.

Maybe it’ll be the same old Teresa? Or, maybe we’ll have a newer, gentler version, which would be a lot less fun.

“I am very excited to be back,” Teresa told The Daily Dish. “For me, this season is all about letting go of the past and embracing the future. People are calling me Teresa 2.0.”

I predict that “Teresa 2.0″ will last for about one and a half episodes. We shall see!