To Eat Like Amanda Chantal Bacon For A Day, You’d Better Have $710 Handy

Amanda Chantal Bacon, proprietor of a shop I’d blessedly never heard of before today, granted Elle’s audience a peek into her day-to-day. I’m not sure what Elle’s angle was, because whoever wrote the headline seems as confounded as I am by this, but my god, reading Bacon’s account of her routine and diet is like staring into a wound in the universe. She unironically says things like, “I’ll also grab a handful of activated cashews. I try to get these in every day for their brain chemistry magic.” …What?

Reading through, I couldn’t help but wonder, how much would it cost to have all of these bizarre ingredients on hand? I’ve got nothing better to do, so here’s my best estimate of how much it costs to feed yourself as Amanda Chantal Bacon:

UPON WAKING

  • Silver needle tea: $18
  • Calendula tea: $9 (if she buys it on Amazon, which, let’s be honest, she probably doesn’t)

TOTAL: $27

PRE-BREAKFAST

  • Moon Juice vanilla mushroom protein powder: $35
  • Moon Juice almond butter: $19
  • Moon Juice Ho Shou Wu: $18
  • Moon Juice Pearl: $35
  • Moon Juice Cordyceps: $35
  • Moon Juice Reishi: $48
  • Moon Juice Shilajit resin: $9
  • Brain Dust: $55 (for two ounces, by the way)
  • Lypo-spheric B-Complex: $43
  • QuintEssential Quinton Shots: $60 (for 30 from the Moon Juice shop)

TOTAL: $357

BREAKFAST

  • Strong green juice: Hard to tell, but as mentioned below, the Gracious Greens juice goes for $9, so let’s say that
  • Moon Juice bee pollen: $18
  • Moon Juice activated cashews: $21
  • Moon Juice pressed turmeric: $9
  • Freshly-squeezed grapefruit juice: Unclear, but if we assume it’s literally straight from a grapefruit, maybe $1?

TOTAL: $58

LUNCH

  • Zucchini: Hopefully not more than $1
  • Basil: Maybe like $3
  • Pine nuts:Probably $12
  • Sun-cured olives: Let’s say $12
  • Lemon: Hopefully not more than $1
  • Green tea: $5-ish

TOTAL: $34

SNACK

  • Home-fermented coconut yogurt
    • Coconut milk: $2.50 for one can
    • Moon Juice Probiotic: $35
  • Moon Juice Cardamom: $9
  • Dried figs: $7
  • Walnuts: $10
  • Apricots from a weekend farm visit: Who knows? Like maybe $3?
  • Homemade Raw chocolate
    • Maca from Moon Pantry: $25
    • Heirloom raw cacao: $15
    • Moon Juice chaga mushroom: $35
    • Moon Juice sprouted brown rice protein: $30
    • Coconut oil: $15

TOTAL: $186.50

 

ANOTHER SNACK

  • Mint chip hemp milk with double servings of maca and sprouted brown rice protein and stevia: Hemp milk isn’t listed on Moon Juice’s menu, nor is maca, but let’s say $11-ish for the hemp milk (based on a $10-12 range) plus $2 for the maca (based on $1 add-ins) plus $1 for the protein and $0.25 for stevia, so $14.25
  • Two Goodness Greens juices: $18

TOTAL: $32.25

DINNER

  • Seaweed salad with micro cilantro and daikon from Shima in Venice: Again, hard to tell – Shima’s menu isn’t on the web. Foodio says their menu ranges from $26-50, but that’s probably for entrees. Shall we say $15?

TOTAL: $15

GRAND TOTAL: $709.75

So there you have it! If you want to eat like Amanda Chantal Bacon, proprietor of Moon Juice and possible crazy person, your grocery trip will run you just about $710 before tax. All I’m saying is, to stock up for her pre-breakfast, it costs almost as much as it does for my husband and I to feed ourselves for an entire month, and something tells me that two-ounce jars of Mystic Forest Spiritual Liver-Awakening Powder don’t last for a full 30 days. All I’m saying is that my second snack of the afternoon is probably three El Milagro tortilla chips and a couple pecans from CostCo (don’t knock it til you’ve tried it), totalling probably around ten cents, which is 0.3 percent as much as it costs to have Amanda Chantal Bacon’s second afternoon snack. All I’m saying is that a few of these things sound great (I’m gonna try making that coconut yogurt because yes please), but let’s be honest, her last name is both more filling and more mouth-watering than her menu. All I’m saying is that, sure, you can buy whatever you want, but some people’s wealth baffles me, and the amount of oats, pasta, and canned milk you could purchase for a homeless shelter instead of $710 of herbal dust might actually blow Amanda Chantal Bacon’s yoga-addled mind.

 

[Elle]
Send me a line at rebecca@thefrisky.com.