This Valentine’s Day, Communicate Only In Kimoji, Trust Me, It Will Be Worth It

Back in December, Kim Kardashian gave the world a collection of emoji that pay tribute to the one person that matters, truly: herself. That’s not shade; Kim’s understanding of what sells and how to sell it is legendary and should be studied by MBAs around the world, but I digress. Kimoji remain the best way to communicate in all group texts and any other medium you see fit, but this update really changes the game.

Dang. There’s a lotta stuff in there. I see a pill bottle, a black Jesus and a conversation heart that says “Pull Out,” for starters. Send all three of those to your intended Valen-boo this year and see what you get. Report back. I’ll wait.

Puppetmaster and preternaturally smooth Kris Jenner tweeted her support, too.

Note the GIF in the upper left quadrant, featuring my favorite moment from Keeping Up With The Kardashians, ever.

Theres also a robot Kim wearing a fur coat and a nude bodysuit gyrating in a way that is both slightly erotic and unnerving, like Sim City meets The Red Shoe Diaries. That’s the most special one. Use it wisely. If you haven’t been #blessed by these pixels and want to find a new way to anger family, friends and the string of random numbers you have in your phone that you don’t know what to do with, go here.