The CDC Wants All Women Not On Birth Control To Avoid Alcohol Just In Case They Get Pregnant

The CDC issued an advisory on Tuesday cautioning all women of childbearing age not currently using birth control to avoid all forms of alcohol in the event that they become unexpectedly pregnant.

Apparently, more than 3 million US women are drinking and having sex but doing so without using any form of birth control, which is crazy!!! Crazy, you women, exercising your right to drink and to have sex. Basically, avoid all alcohol if you’re fucking, because your body is nothing more than a vessel for the precious life of an unborn child and definitely not something you have any control over.

According to Anne Schuchat, principal deputy director of the CDC, “About half of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned, and even if planned, most one won’t know they are pregnant for the first month or so, when they might still be drinking.”   She continued, saying, “The risk is real. Why take the chance?”

What a spectacular bit of concern trolling from a government agency! Yes, lets worry about the health of the potential children that women could or could not conceive by telling them that they should stop living their lives in the way they see fit in order to better prepare their bodies for the beautiful gift of life. What else is a woman but an EZ-bake oven for babies, anyway? Better to stay straight-edge and sober until your fertility withers away and all you’re left with is a dusty corridor full of cobwebs and broken dreams.