Zayn Malik’s ‘Pillowtalk’: Sex, Hugs And Flowers Blooming Out Of Vaginas

Imagine the richest, “weirdest” and ultimately most boring dude you knew form high school — the guy who said “random” a lot and was really into graffiti. Imagine he started getting his hands on high quality marijuana and embraced moody floral track jackets and vaping as part of his aesthetic. Now, imagine he made a music video, with all the money and support in the world, a roomful of people rallying behind him, saying yes, passing the joint.

That’s what thevideo for Zayn Malik’s first single, “Pillowtalk,” is like.  Featuring Gigi Hadid, a variety of compromising positions, a lot of ~*cool*~ graphics, bloody tears, and a lot of flowers blossoming out of vaginas, it’s a weird derivative mess of “cool,” without any referent.

The song is…fine? The video looks like the result of late nights hitting the vape in the studio and spending more time than you’d like looking for duvet covers online. There’s smoke! There’s melting flowers. Look, there’s Gigi Hadid rubbing her beautiful body against Zayn’s. Look, sad Zayn is crying bloody tears. Ooh, Zayn. You’re so bad.