Smug Kinkajou Wakes Up Sleeping 99-Year-Old Woman

When I hear “racoon-monkey hybrid” I imagine an evil flying trash-eating creature straight out of Oz, who does the witch’s bidding, schemes up mischievous pranks,ccasionally engages in spontaneous celebrations and most importantly wreaks havoc.

All of my suspicions were confirmed when the smug-as-hell (look at that fucking face!) kinkajou named Banana escaped his owner’s home only to terrorize a sleeping 99-year-old woman. The woman reported waking up in complete shock as Banana non-consensually snuggled her face. The assailant immediately rushed into her attic after he heard her shocked screams.

The startled woman said “I start thinking, ‘How are we going to get this animal out?’ So I Googled ‘kinkajou sounds’ and found a video.”

It was only after she played kinkajou sounds out of a speaker through the ceiling that Banana decided it was safe to sneak back out, a bit rustled himself after completely scaring the shit out of the woman. She cleverly utilized cherries to lure the animal back into a cage and was able to return him to his owner.

(NY Mag)