Half-Naked Oregon Militant Challenges Chris Christie To Sumo Wrestling
Are the Oregon militants just kind of bored and drunk now? Because that’s what it’s starting to look like. In response to Chris Christie saying something or another about how the Feds should maybe ask them to leave, Idaho-based militant/former sumo champion Kelly Gneiting, is challenging him to 10 bouts in the ring. Gneiting says that if Christie can win one round against him, the militants will forfeit and leave the wildlife refuge.
Gneiting–who holds the Guinness World Record for “Heaviest Person to Complete a Marathon” and writes very long, weird essays about professional sports, politics and Jesus–stood in front of a camera for about three minutes claiming that Christie is his little brother, going on about how they used to sumo wrestle and “slap bellies” together, and suggesting that they go to war over “the constitution and Mama’s love.”
Who even knows what to make of this? Why are these people even still here? Don’t any of them have jobs to go to?