Teenage Ted Cruz Aspired To “World Domination,” Appearing In A “Teenage Tit Film”
Ted Cruz is an extremely off-putting man, and it turns out he’s kind of always been that way. A video has surfaced of Cruz in a video shot by a fellow classmate at Second Baptist School in Houston, in which he is asked about his “aspirations.”
After making some kind of bad joke about “aspiration” meaning “when your butt sweats,” Cruz said he’d like to be in a “teenage tit film” like “that guy that played Horatio” who got to be in a movie called “Malibu Beach Bikini Shop” (do yourself a favor and click on that and watch the trailer. It sure is…something.).
He also said he would like to “take over the world, world domination, you know, rule everything. Rich, powerful, that sort of stuff.”
It should come as a surprised to exactly no one that Ted Cruz was extremely off-putting and kind of creepy in high school. Hell, in 2013, several of Cruz’s college classmates spoke to The Daily Beast, and almost all of them described him using the term “creepy.”
In addition to Mazin and Leitch, several fellow classmates who asked that their names not be used described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” “intense,” “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant.” Four independently offered the word “creepy,” with some pointing to Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.
“I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: ‘Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'” Mazin says.
Don’t lie. You know exactly who Ted Cruz was in high school and college. We all knew that dude. And we avoided him! Because he was creepy, and always staring at your tits. And kind of a bully, but not in the popular kid bully kind of way, just in the “Oh man, that dude is an asshole” kind of way. So let’s all hope that we, as a country, continue the grand tradition of avoiding dudes like Ted Cruz in the 2016 election.