The Definitive Guide to Hooking Up in a Blizzard

Anna Goldfarb | January 22, 2016 - 7:00 pm

Have you read the news? A blizzard is coming to the East Coast, y’all! What could go wrong with lining up a blizzard buddy? Oh man, so many things can go wrong. So many. Maybe he neglected to tell you his four roommates will be there too. Maybe his wi-fi is on the fritz because he forgot to pay his bill. You might’ve had visions of rolling around in front of a fireplace at a Swiss chalet ski retreat when you accepted his blizzard buddy invitation, but without a little pre-emptive planning, your snowy weekend could turn out to be more like a scene out of “Misery”.

So here’s my guide about how to weather the blizzard hookup. A quick note, I’m writing from the perspective where a woman is contemplating being blizzard buddies with a man, but this advice applies to all couples regardless of gender.

1. Proceed with caution if you’ve known him for less than six months. If you haven’t been to his place already, you truly don’t know what you’re walking into. Maybe he’s out of toothpaste and forgot to tell you. Maybe his windows are drafty. Maybe he doesn’t have hot water. Really, the opportunities to disappoint you with his living quarters are endless. Don’t agree to spend up to three days at his place without knowing you’ll be comfortable and can find ways to occupy your downtime.

2. Sort out your groceries and drink options before you head over. Maybe his idea of a “fully stocked fridge” is a freezer full of sweet and sour chicken Lean Cuisines and a cabinet full of warm bottom-shelf vodka. Go over what your meals will be and make sure you have the supplies on hand.

3. Agree on what you’ll watch beforehand. Nothing is more annoying than constantly asking each other what you’re in the mood to watch. Nail this down before you come over. Decide on any TV shows you’ll binge on. Make a list of five movies you’d be up for streaming.

4. Speaking of streaming, make sure he has a working Netflix connection. Or at least a way to stream TV shows and movies on demand. Otherwise, I hope you brought some board games because you’re going to have to do something to fill up the second day when it’s too snowy to even walk around the block.

5. It’s all about dat exit strategy. If you drive, park on streets that will most likely be plowed. Because when the whiskey bottle’s empty and you’ve reached your cuddle capacity, you’re going to be so thankful you didn’t park on a tiny side-street that’s under a blanket of snow. Do your future self a favor and give yourself options to head out as soon as you’re ready.

With a little planning and foresight, you can set yourself up for a fun, frosty weekend!