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Mariah Carey Is Engaged, Her Ring Is Gigantic And I Have Questions

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Mariah Carey is engaged! Mariah Carey is engaged. Drop everything, put your lunch down, and pay attention here: Mariah Carey, singer of songs, parent of twins, light of my life, is engaged to an Australian billionaire named James Packer.

E! News reports that Packer popped the question and affianced Mariah with “what can only be described as the most breathtaking engagement ring.” Honestly, would she have taken anything else? Shopping for an engagement ring for Mariah Carey sounds like the world’s most intimidating task. Apparently, it is 35 carats, which is quite large. Like, comically large. Congrats to Mariah and all, but the size of her wedding ring is actually what pulls the focus here.

I can’t fathom 5 carats, let alone 35. For reference, Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring from Kanye West was a solid 15.5 carats, and it looks big enough to be seen from space.

Saved the Best one for the Last one! #speechless

A photo posted by Jonathan Cheban (@jonathancheban) on

For scale, the Hope Diamond, another large and impressive hunk of stone ripped from the bowels of the earth, is 45.52 carats.

THE HOPE DIAMOND

What does one do with a diamond that’s bigger than Kim Kardashian’s ring but only a little bit smaller than the fucking Hope Diamond? How do you accessorize around that? Can you use the hand that’s wearing the ring? Does someone else have to help you wipe your ass? Did Mariah have to wear an wrist weight in order to work on her carpal tunnel strength so that she might hold her hand aloft of its own volition? Will her bodyguards be able to prevent strangers and crazies from ripping the physical manifestation of her fiancé’s wealth from her hand?

Only time will tell. Congrats to the happy couple!

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