‘Donkey Sauce Flow’ Is The Guy Fieri Parody Rap We Don’t Need, But Deserve

Normally, when I hear the phrase “renaissance man,” I envision an artist with a studio full of sketches and paintings neighboring their music room and possibly an accompanied office where they focus on their writings. Even if I don’t like someone’s output, I usually have a certain level of respect for people who put themselves out there in multiple mediums, failing and succeeding their way to to notoriety.

Guy Fieri is a man of many exploits who could technically, by definition of prolificness and variety could be considered a renaissance man. But, in my mind he’s actually one long piece of performance art– the Joaquin Phoenix performance piece that makes Joaquin look like a guy wearing sunglasses yelling: “You can’t recognize me!”

Regardless of whether my theory is way off base or not, it’s in perfect keeping with his Brand for Fieri to make some rash and cocky statements about a possible project, and then surprise and horrify everyone by following through — and that is exactly what is happening with his upcoming “rap” debut, The Mayor Of Flavortown.

An anonymous member of Fieri’s crew dropped the link to his hott track “Donkey Sauce Flow,” just one perfectly named track on his list of cringe-worthy gems including future promise-hits such as “Foodie Fuccbois” and “Grease Trap Queen.”

Guy Fieri even managed to get Drake to feature on a track, as well as 50 Cent and Vanilla Ice, in what feels like one of the most ambitious troll moves ever. Don’t think of it as rap or music, because it certainly constitutes neither, but rather listen to it as the long release of hot air from America’s collective asshole.

(First We Feast)