Hide From January With 10 Classic Summertime TV Episodes
Look, I support occasional use of the “it’s too cold’ excuse. But that doesn’t mean winter needs to win inside your apartment. Light a sea salt candle and channel an ocean breeze instead of that terrifying radiator clanking sound. TV shows love to travel — it’s a chance to get out of the comfort zone, seal deals and move storylines forward, and I imagine a bit of a vacation for the writers as well. Cue these up and know that it’s July somewhere. Like on HBO.
For an excuse to make margaritas (and cry)
The OC, “The Escape”
If you’re an OC fan, your bar for romance may also have been set somewhere around Ben McKenzie, carrying you out of a Tijuana bar Juliet-style to a dreamy indie soundtrack. We’ve all grown up by now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t snuggle up next to the space heater and get deep into the teenagery feels of Seth, Summer, Marissa and Ryan. Grab some tequila and make it a theme night.
For actual travel inspiration
New Girl, “Cruise”
Watch this hilarious episode in one tab while browsing potential February cruise options in another. Cruises may be boring and riddled with norovirus but, thanks to a never-ending PR nightmare, they are certainly on sale. If these television characters are to be trusted, a luxury package costs less than a flight to Europe. Worth a Google.
For an apparently realistic Hamptons experience
Sex and the City, “Twenty-something Girls vs. Thirty-something Women”
Equally surprising as SATC still being talked about in 2016 is Cynthia Nixon’s recent reveal that every SATC plotline really happened to a writer or close friend. Watch this classic episode and dream about the days when it’ll be warm again and you, too, can lie about your age and vomit on the beach at a Hamptons bonfire full of 20-somethings.
For an actually realistic Hamptons experience
Seinfeld, “The Hamptons”
If you’ve ever befriended someone once they spoke the words “my beach house,” this is the episode for you. True to Seinfeld form, this is the most honest vacation group breakdown in TV history: a happy couple, an unhappy couple, some horny singles, and rando homeowners who happen to own beachfront property. Add in Venmo, and we’ve got Summer 2016.
For an emotional roller coaster
Keeping Up with the Kardashians, “Bon-Voyage” Climb on board the yacht for this two-parter in St. Barts in which Kourtney is having a rough time (sad) until the sisters decide to cheer her up (whew) with a photoshoot (thank god.) If that dip into Kardashian’s version of reality doesn’t fill you with escapist glee, this episode also features Kendall-Kylie drama, a surprise declaration of everlasting love from Lamar, and some very cute North time. For an excuse to text your worst ex
Vanderpump Rules, “Tears Over Miami” Scheana and Shay’s joint bachelor-bachelorette party was apparently such a snoozefest that the producers decided to base this whole episode around Jax’s sex life. Jax is texting two girls at once! Jax may have once hooked up with a man! Jax is hitting on the new girl! Jax is every guy I’ve ever dated and I should probably invite one over so he can agree. Warning: for singles and empathic couples only
Here are just 7 reasons why you should be watching #BachelorInParadise tonight! Regram @kirkdewindtpt A photo posted by Bachelor in Paradise (@bachelorinparadise) on
Bachelor in Paradise, literally any episode
Journey to Tulum, the yoga-filled Mexican resort town your richest aunt loves, and join Bachelor/Bachlorette rejects as they suffer through the most masochistic premise known to man: “At the end of each week, anyone who is not in a romantic relationship will be sent home.” If that also sounds eerily like real life to you, I’m warning you now not to watch this show with a coupled-up friend. (Also, there’s a lot of bathing suit action.)
For a reality check
Real Housewives of Atlanta, “Puerto Read-co”
The best part of this quintessential VACAY! Real Housewivesepisode is that No. One. Cares. that they are in Puerto Rico. The ladies, flown down to bear witness to a non-cast member’s random musical showcase, have just as much interest in being on vacation as they do in Demetria’s talent. Sometimes a trip is a struggle and you end up in a contractually obligated fight on national TV. Or, you know, your bags get lost.
For a free, hangover-less trip to Vegas
Modern Family, “Las Vegas”
The Modern Family gang has taken on Hawaii, Disney World, and a random dude ranch, but the Las Vegas episode does the impossible: actually makes Las Vegas fun. Gloria spends much of the episode hiding a dog statue named Rebarka. Sold!
For, ok, more Hamptons
Before Revenge went full soap and started taking on plotlines as often as Charlotte Grayson scream-cries, this show was something of a massage for the brain. Between the masterful weaving of whiplash-inducing drama, sexytime, and gorgeous costume and makeup design, you may forget to go outside for the next four seasons.
Leah Prinzivalli is a writer in Brooklyn. Follow her on Twitter!