‘Tallywackers’ Is The Ballsy Answer To Hooters

Much in the spirit of Magic Mike XXL, The Amy Schumer O’nutter’s sketch, or a laidback Chippendale’s, Tallywackers exists as a mythical embodiment of what we as a culture have desired for too long, and finally it is here.

The word Tallywackers is as you might guess, slang for penis, the restaurant manifestation of this penis opened in Dallas in May 2015, and business has been banging (SORRY/NOT SORRY)! Clad with glittering chandeliers and large flat screen TVs perpetually showing Beyonce and Britney Spears videos while shirtless men bartend and scantily clad men wait tables, Tallywackers exists as the physical manifestation of so many girls (and gay guys’) wet dreams.

PLUS, if you’re anything like me and prone to guilt, and the immediate thoughts of the men hating their job, or possible discrimination, Tallywackers is intentional about hiring diverse men of all sizes, knowing full well everyone has their preferences and their will be someone dining that will appreciate the beauty of each and every package.

The owner Rodney Duke, has previously owned another bar and worked in the hospitality industry said:

“I don’t know why it’s never been done. It really is something that was missing. I don’t think it’s fair that women or gay men haven’t had the same comparable venue to go to, so we finally have a place now for that to happen.”

YEAH DUDE, FORREALS. But honestly, the public has shown full frontal support of it from the beginning, with the Facebook page garnering over 250 five star reviews before they even opened!

Seriously, who wants to go check it out with me?! LOOK AT THIS WOMAN, SHE IS SO HAPPY!

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CREDIT: Marie Claire


Luckily for all of us living far away from Dallas, there are plans to expand and spread the Tallywackers beauty into multiple cities and states!

(Marie Claire)