Paul Ryan’s Spiteful Mug Was The Highlight Of The State Of The Union Address

I don’t know about you, but for me, last night’s State of the Union address was all about Paul Ryan’s spiteful mug glaring over the President’s left shoulder for a full hour.


Obama’s talking about how unemployment has been cut in half?


Paul Ryan cannot gather damns to give.

Providing healthcare for all Americans?


Paul Ryan might be fantasizing about giving Obama a swirly.

The apparent impending global victory over the ebola crisis?


Paul Ryan is so pissed that he’s missing Real Housewives for this shit.

You might be thinking that this is just my (admittedly terrible) television. Behold, a professional image of the Most Spiteful Man in Congress:


“Ugh, I want your job so bad! Just let me take away everyone’s birth control already!”

If you’re still not convinced, check out Paul Ryan’s Twitter account from last night.


Now, here’s a good point:


He’s like Chris Traeger! He can text without looking.

Seriously, though, Speaker Ryan’s whole facial/social media management shtick last night crystallizes the national mood perfectly. If you want to know what the state of our union is, it’s 300 million people tweeting angrily when they should be paying attention.
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