If You Think Obama Wants To Take Your Gun Away, Then Maybe Someone Should

If there is anything I learned while watching the Guns In America town hall last night, it is that there is literally no gun control measure so minute, so common-sense, that it will not be interpreted as “THEY’RE COMING TO TAKE OUR GUNS AWAY!”

It’s not like it’s something I didn’t know before. After all, I am a supporter of gun control who writes on the Internet. Every time I write about some 4-year-old accidentally shooting their 3-year-old neighbor, and perhaps comment that it would have been nice if that 4-year-old’s parents had perhaps kept their gun in a place where their kid couldn’t get it, I get deluged with emails, tweets, and comments from gun supporters that scare the hell out of me. Which often include “hopes” that I get raped or murdered with no one with a gun around to save me. Which often insist that the “tree of liberty” must sometimes be watered with the blood of toddlers, and that just because bad things are going to happen doesn’t mean you should try and do anything about them.

When I get those comments, emails, tweets, whatever–I sure as hell feel like want to take these people’s guns away. I do. Out of spite. Simply because they are shit people and I want them, specifically, to be unhappy.

When I see demands to not talk about gun control after a tragedy, or to not discuss solutions other than “arm everyone,” when I see people insisting that the person talking about gun control is trying to “exploit a tragedy to advance a political agenda,” when that “political agenda” likely wouldn’t exist if these tragedies didn’t keep happening–I feel furious.

It’s not weird or menacing or evil in any way to have a reaction to a tragedy and want to do something about it. It’s not a conspiracy. It’s normal. It’s human. Even Ronald Reagan himself understood that gun control was necessary after he and James Brady were shot.

I digress. There are a lot of things that usually make me feel like I don’t want these people to have guns. I cop to having that feeling. It’s an emotional reaction. It’s anger. It’s spite. I’m so furious that these things happen and they don’t even want to allow discussion about how to stop them. It feels so frustrating that we can’t ever get anywhere with this shit–even when 90% of the country supports universal background checks–and it’s really hard sometimes to remember that not all “gun people” are the ones doing this and acting this way, when I keep reading it over and over and over again.

But you know who doesn’t want to take all the guns away? President Barack Obama. Literally nothing in the executive orders he issued involves taking guns away from anyone. It’s just not there. It barely even closes the gun show loophole. It involves things like “reporting guns when they’re stolen,” which is a rather odd thing for anyone to object to.

In fact, I have yet to hear one gun advocate object to any specific thing that is actually in the actual executive order. Even the NRA couldn’t come up with one! They just know that, whatever it is, they’re against it. And that, you know, it could maybe, hypothetically, lead to “abuse”–which, it really could not, as it has pretty much nothing to do with individual gun owners.

These people, the gun advocates, the people who asked President Obama questions last night, appear to be objecting to a mandate to “take away all the guns” that does not exist. Which actually makes me worry about their comprehension skills. It makes me wonder if people with such poor comprehension skills should really be owning firearms in the first place.

Frankly, I think that should be part of the test to see whether or not someone should have one–because if these people are so easily confused, who knows who they’re going to kill! They could confuse a gas station attendant for a car jacker! A mailman for a robber! A gondolier for a moving target!

I think the best solution to all of this is to take guns away from people who look at the President’s executive decisions and interpret them as “taking their guns away.” Everyone else can have a gun, just not those people. Ok? I feel like that is a fair solution for all of us.