This Woman’s Neighbors Have The Loudest, Most Dramatic Sex Maybe Ever

Rebecca Vipond Brink | January 6, 2016 - 1:30 pm

Do you wanna die laughing? Here, have a video of UPROXX web culture editor Stacey Ritzen’s wall, behind which you can hear her neighbors having extremely loud, enthusiastic sex.

 

Oh but wait, it gets better. Eighteen minutes later, they were still at it.

 

And then, forty minutes later…

DEAD, RIGHT? DID YOU DIE?

No hate, though! It might seem unnecessary and rude on one side of the wall, I grant you that. But on the other side, if you happen to be a person who prefers to be loud during sex, you kind of have to put your own needs ahead of your neighbors’ and stop caring what they think. From my experience, anyway. It means you might not be friends with your neighbors, but eh? Ritzen’s wallmates are living in the biggest city in America. I’m sure they have plenty of friends out of earshot.

And, actually, here’s an interesting tidbit: Women are more vocal during heterosexual sex than men are, and it turns out that they’re vocal in order to get men to orgasm, according to a(n admittedly small) 2011 study on the subject. As in, women don’t tend to make the most noise when they’re having orgasms, but rather around when their hetero partners are having orgasms. So then your neighbors’ loud sex becomes a political issue (if you want it to be): Is it fair to hate on loud sexual vocalizations, or is it just going to play into the Madonna-whore complex, feeding the idea that women have to be sexual but not too sexual? If sexual vocalization is a way that women are empowered in their sexual interactions, can we take that away from them by wall-shaming them?

Or, you can just be like me and keep reeling from laughter. Like whether to be loud or quiet during sex, it’s your choice.

[h/t Cosmopolitan]
Send me a line at rebecca@thefrisky.com.