German Man Killed By The Vengeful Wrath Of A Condom Machine
A man in Schöppingen, Germany, was killed by a condom machine on Christmas night after a robbery attempt. He and two other friends tried to blow up the machine (for the money, not the condoms, although who knows), and the explosion sent a piece of metal flying into the man’s head.
His friends tried to tell employees at the hospital where they took him that he had fallen down some stairs and hit his head, but when pressed, they admitted that they had in fact been robbing a condom machine. You can’t fool nurses, people.
It’s one of those situations where if it was fiction, it’d be hilarious, but then again the fact is that some poor schlub died on Christmas. But he died because of the vengeful wrath of a condom machine! But he died! Someone tell me how to feel about this. I just cannot decide.