Today Is “Short Girl Appreciation Day,” So Let’s Talk About “Spinners”

According to the trending sidebar on Facebook, today is #ShortGirlAppreciationDay–because it is the shortest day of the year. This strikes me as unnecessary, frankly, because I feel like short girls are not necessarily short on appreciation. In fact, being 5’9″, men often feel compelled to inform me of the reasons they prefer short women over tall women. It’s honestly a little awkward. I’m sure short girls get the opposite sometimes as well, because people are weird and gross and rude.

I have nothing against short women–except when they complain to me about having to get stuff hemmed, because at least they have that option. I’ve got a 36-inch inseam, ok? If something is too short, which many things are, I have no options! None at all!

I do, however, have a problem with the language a lot of men use to describe why they only like short women–because it is occasionally rather disconcerting and creepy.

One of these things they like to tell me–on the less creepy end of things–is that they prefer short girls because they are “spinners.”

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CREDIT: Urban Dictionary

I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS A THING.

I kind of used to? Like, I just took it for granted that it was a real thing, because how the fuck would I know? It seemed like some mysterious thing I’d never understand because it was never going to happen in my life due to my height situation. But the more I actually thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed.

We discussed it in The Frisky chatcave, and no else one here believes it is a thing either. I posted it on Facebook, and I apparently have no friends who can validate this as any kind of actual sexual practice that happens in real life. Not one has even seen it happen in porn.

I mean, let’s think about the logistics of this for a second. How are you actually going to spin on a dick without breaking it, even if you are very small? I mean, sure, you could rotate while doing some kind of crabwalk type thing, but there’s no way you could full-on spin around really fast without something going terribly wrong. I guess maybe if you were really really flexible and really good at balancing and both of you were slathered in lube you could get maybe one good half turn out of it? Even then! Even then, it seems like it’s more effort than it would be worth.

I’m not saying that it’s not possible. In fact, if you have engaged in this sort of activity, feel free to explain the logistics to me in the comments, because now I’m just really curious.