Worst Nightmare: Plane Forced To Turn Around & Land Because Of A Smelly Shit

Using public restrooms can be a miniature nightmare when you know you’ve got to unload a veritable pile of guts, and you don’t want to needlessly traumatize any strangers in the vicinity. Now confine the waft-space to the close quarters of a full airplane and multiply the embarrassment by a million, and you can now possibly empathize with the offending passenger on one British Airways flight from London to Dubai last week.

Apparently, an anonymous passenger made a lavatory stop 15 minutes into the flight that literally changed the course of the trip. The odor was so noxious that fellow passengers immediately and unanimously complained about it, and to such a degree that flight attendants alerted the pilot so he could address the situation.

After unsuccessfully attempting to get rid of the smell by way of a thorough bathroom cleaning, the crew reported back to the pilot  in defeat. The pilot then made an announcement to the entire plane that the offending smell was indeed “liquid excrement” and had nothing to do with the plane’s function itself. He then let passengers know they’d be heading back to London Heathrow to air out the plane, forcing passengers to wait a whole 15 hours for the next departing flight.

If I were the person whose poo was so offensive as to make the plane uninhabitable, I would feel such a deep shame and paranoia I’d likely ban myself from flying for as long as possible, or internalize that shame to the point where my gross body stop shitting altogether until my existence halted in a gross and premature death.