Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn & Bette Midler Reunite For A Movie That’s Not A “First Wives’ Club” Sequel

Round up your mothers and your maiden aunts and your “First Wives’ Club” fan group. Ready your bodies for “Divination,” a full-length feature film recently acquired by Netflix. These classy broads will play the members of a popular singing group forced to reconnect after a nasty split and a 30-year estrangement. They will bond — duh — and realize just what it is that made them work together so well in the first place.

Exciting! Thrilling! Juicy! While we wait for the script to be written, the film to be shot and this daydream to lumber slowly to its feet, I’ve already drawn up a brief character sketch for each renowned actress. Turns out this maps quite well onto the cast of “Dreamgirls”:

  • Diane Keaton, the Lorell of the group, tried to keep the peace when they were younger but has aged quite nicely into that woman you always see at the wine shop who’s quietly racist.
  • Goldie Hawn, the Deena (that’s the Beyonce, guys!), has relaxed considerably in her middle age, and now works at your local dispensary where she makes the best weed cookies.
  • And, Bette Midler, our Effie White, is the woman on the co-op board you fear and admire in equal measure.

Am I right?! Probably not. But maybe! Keep an eye out for this thing next year to see if I’ve got secret psychic powers. [Deadline]