Gwyneth Paltrow’s Feathers Unruffled By GOOP MRKT Robbery: “It’s Good Publicity”

Lifestyle doyenne and self-styled Earth Mama with a Black AmEx, Gwyneth Paltrow, recently opened GOOP MRKT, a holiday popup in New York City, full of $2,000 Valentino sweaters and $40 candles that purport to smell like Malibu on a Sunday. Last week, it was robbed of $173,00 worth of merchandise, but our GOOP-ness isn’t stressed. According to Page Six, Paltrow’s handling this with grace and aplomb and an unconscionable amount of chill, telling her concerned mother that it’s just “good publicity.”

Frankly, why didn’t we think of this before?  Did you know about GOOP MRKT before this? Well, now you do, whether you want to or not. On the other hand, as Page Six posits, did Gwyneth orchestrate this entire thing as a publicity stunt?!?!? Is that so ludicrous to believe? Why would she be so relaxed about losing six figures worth of merch? Nothing about this makes sense, I guess, but here, let’s ask Gwyn’s mom, Blythe Danner, again:

“She always has a good spin on things, and I admire her tenacity and her upbeat message,” Danner said. Any leads in the case yet? “I don’t know anything about it. I’ll find out.”

Blythe Danner’s on the case, guys! Stand down.

[Page Six]