Gun Rights Groups To Stage A Pretend Mass Shooting In Which Everything Goes Their Way

In order to prove how much better they believe mass shootings would go if everyone were armed all the time, a gun rights group plans to stage some kind of mock mass shooting at the University of Texas at Austin. In this scenario, everyone will be saved because of good samaritan armed citizens — whereas, in real life, this would probably not be a very good idea.


The event will begin with an open-carry walk with real guns, to be followed by a mock mass shooting using cardboard guns and fake blood, the Austin American-Statesman reports. The groups, Come and Take It Texas and, argue that this will demonstrate the need for armed good samaritans who can take down attackers before police can arrive on the scene.

While loaded weapons are currently prohibited on campus, a new Texas law will go into effect in August allowing concealed weapons to be carried in all but certain restricted places on campuses. These groups want to make sure there are as few gun-free zones as possible.

“We want criminals to fear the public being armed,” spokesperson Matthew Short told the Statesman. “An armed society is a polite society.” When asked by the paper if he was concerned that the event would be found in poor taste after recent mass shootings in Paris and San Bernardino, Short said no. “Not at all,” the spokesperson replied. “People were able to be murdered people because no one was armed.”

I am going to say that it is definitely in poor taste. It is also ridiculous. I mean, I could stage a pretend mass shooting wherein I stop the shooter with my magical powers or by throwing a shoe at their head. That would not mean that I would literally stop a mass shooting with telekinesis or footwear.

Need I remind you that UT Austin is where one of the first and deadliest mass shootings in history took place — when Charles Whitman climbed up in a clocktower and started shooting people at random. Unless we’re talking about trained snipers, I’m not quite sure how a bunch of armed citizens would be helpful in such a scenario. Were I in such a scenario and I saw someone else pull out a gun, I would assume he or she was in cahoots with the person doing the killing and probably have a heart attack.

Personally, I think people ought to have a right to go to school and not have guns there. I think people like me ought to be entitled to gun-free zones. I would not even mind if all the gun people wanted to like, get together in a roller rink away from everyone else and just go hog wild on each other, as long as I didn’t have to be there.

Most people who actually know a thing or two about gun safety do not think everyone should be walking around all the time with guns. They believe in gun control and background checks. They do not believe that it would be a good idea to live in some kind of Wild West scenario with gun fights at the saloon every day at high noon.

I don’t actually think that people who advocate for open carry really think they are going to be heroes. I think they just want to annoy people like me who don’t want to be around guns. It’s about ball-busting, not saving anyone. Otherwise I don’t think they’d be showing up to Starbucks armed to the teeth with assault weapons. I think it is fundamentally unfair for open carry advocates to demand that I trust them with said assault weapons, and feel safer in their presence because of what responsible gun owners they say they are. I am not psychic, I do not know who is or is not going to blow off my head.

I gotta tell you though, there is one thing I would love to see happen here – I am near certain that there are LARP (live action role playing) groups at the University of Texas Austin, and I would just really appreciate it if those groups could show up in capes with magic wands and fake swords and get in on the action. This would delight me. Someone please make that happen somehow.