Gift Guide: For The Late-To-Weed Grown-Ass Stoner
The late to weed stoner is a special breed; someone who realized that money and the kind of prolonged adolescence that big city living encourages means that being a pothead now, in adulthood, is easier than ever. They’ve got their delivery service all set, but years of being the person always down to smoke when it happens to be around means that they are woefully unskilled in the basics. Perhaps one of your friends has recently set aside her love of wine for weed. Encourage her healthy, chill AF habit with these gifts that show them you really, truly, care.
A Sick Vape: There’s an undeniable pleasure in walking around your apartment in a bathrobe holding a joint and an ashtray in one hand like an early-seventies housewife breaking into the grass after the kids have gone to school, but for the discerning stoner who wants to do shit while they’re high, a vape is the way to go.
I have the Pax and its an amazing and beautiful machine that feels like smoking out of an iPod, but if you don’t want to spend $280, go get a V2. I don’t care if a vape makes you look like a total M’lady, your lungs will be psyched and you can enjoy the joy of walking around the block getting high, hopping on the train and listening to Joanna Newsom on your way to touch yarn and buy sweaters on a Saturday. [V2 Pro Series 3 Vape Pen, $59.99]
A Nice Bag For Storage: You can shove all of your paraphernalia in a grubby Ziplock bag and tuck that into your tote on your way out or you could organize all of your things — the weed! the vape! papers! chapstick! — into one very nice bag that is your designated weed bag. If you’re industrious, you can fit a teeny tiny book in there, too. [Olive Round Bag, $38]
Adult Coloring Books & Fun Pens: You can watch a lot of TV when you’re high, or you can retreat to a quiet space, turn on some music and color in one of the adult coloring books for as long as your heart desires or until your hand starts to hurt. Fuck colored pencils, though. Show your friend you care and get them a sick set of gel pens, too. [Gel Pens, $34.99; Secret Garden Coloring Book, $9.57]
A Really Good Couch Blanket: I’m sure your intended has a blanket already, but it’s probably weird and lint-y and covered in cat hair. Friends don’t let friends watch HGTV marathons under a free blanket they got at a Mets game. Dragging a ratty down comforter off your bed and to the couch feels like an early concession to senile eccentricity; this down throw is intended for couch lock and chill. [L.L Bean Ultraplush Throw, $59]
This Popcorn, Which Is The Best Popcorn: Ritz crackers dipped in Tostitos Queso with a single chocolate chip plopped in the middle is a decent snack, but you can achieve the same results with this popcorn, which is so fucking good your intended recipient will eat all of it in one sitting, even if they’re not stoned. [GarretMix Popcorn, $33]
Barbarian Days by William Finnegan: I can think of nothing better to read while stoned than a beautiful, sprawling, intensely well written missive about life, surfing, delayed adulthood and extended adolescence. “But I don’t care about surfing or white dude New Yorker writers surfing and why would anyone I know care about those things, either?” Trust me, you will. [Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life by William Finnegan, $19.26]
Sunglasses: So your friend doesn’t have to run to the bodega for seltzer looking like it’s allergy season in the middle of December. [Quay Australia Livnow Round Mirror Sunglasses, $53.75]