Robyn: 10 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I am going to have to stay in Chicago this year instead of getting to spend time with my family back home in either Rhode Island or Rochester, NY. I am super close with my family, so I’m a little bummed–but, thankfully, we’re not people who put a lot of emphasis on “holidays” anyway, and feel like we can celebrate it any damn time we please if we feel like it.

However! Right now they are the thing I am most thankful for, and I’m almost having a hard time thinking of anything of anything else.

1. My Mom: Let me tell you a story about my mother. When I was in elementary school, we had one of those Santa’s Workshop thingies where you go to buy presents for your family during the holidays, and my mom volunteered to help out. They had this rule, though, that only kids who brought money were allowed to browse the items, and the kids who didn’t have money had to stand up against the wall while the other kids went around in groups. My mom did not care for this set-up, because she knew how kids were (especially at that school) about things like that. So, she told the kids who hadn’t brought money that they were in her group, and were going to walk around with her. And as they went around, she made a big thing about pretending to teach them how to shoplift. So for the rest of the week, I had kids coming up to me excitedly telling me that my mom taught them how to shoplift, and all the kids who had brought money were jealous of the kids who hadn’t.

My friends always wanted to be around my mom. Not just because she’s hilarious and brilliant and badass, which she is, but because she makes everyone around her feel like they are hilarious and brilliant and badass. She taught me everything I know, except how to walk in heels, because those were obviously invented by men and “why would you want to hobble yourself like that?.”

2. My sister: Gia gets to be number 2 because if she were not on this list I would immediately receive a Facebook message demanding to know why she was not on it, and why it did not include a link to her Twitter. In addition to being a hilarious and wonderful person whom I love very much, she has always been incredible when it comes to advocating for herself–a thing I am not quite as good at. Advocating for other people yes, myself, not so much. When she was a toddler, she liked playing with trucks, and one day a boy in her preschool tried to take one of her trucks away from her. She picked up the truck and whacked him and said “KNO’ IT OFF.” That instance is basically my patronus, and I think of it whenever I am putting up with too much bullshit.

Plus, the girl was born to side-eye (I’m the one with the bangs, she’s the one with the curls.)


3. My Dad: My dad is a legit Horatio Alger/American Dream story. He grew up poor in Providence’s Federal Hill, worked several jobs to put himself through a private high school, went into the Army and then put himself through college and ended up becoming a very fancy businessman. But you know what he didn’t turn into? A Republican, or someone who thinks doing this is possible for everyone, particularly the way things are now.

He’s also super supportive–like, he has a Google alert for my name and sends out an email to the entire family every time I get quoted in something. He has also always been there to help me and practically everyone else in our family out when we have fallen on hard times.

Plus, his name is actually Dante. How freaking cool is that?

4. My Discovery of “Extravagant” Clothing Items On Etsy: My ideal clothing item is always and forever something that is black, kind of weird looking, and good for just throwing on. I try to buy other things, but I never wear them. I bought an orange and pink floral maxi dress last year and I am furiously angry every time I leave the house in it.

SO, I was thrilled to discover that there is an entire genre that caters to my needs. While you can literally just plug “extravagant black” into the search thingie, my personal favorite shops are Aakasha, Urban Mood, and Babooshka.

5. Instant Espresso: This shit is my JAM. I mean, I don’t use it to literally make espresso or anything, but I very much like adding it to my coffee or hot chocolate for an extra boost.

6. Olive Oil: I literally use olive oil for everything. I put it on my food, I wash my face with it, I use it as a lotion after I get out of the shower. YAY OLIVE OIL. Both delicious and functional.

7. Instacart and Grubhub: Because it’s winter and I like not having to leave my apartment if I don’t feel like it.

8. The AskHistorians and Unresolved Mysteries subreddits.

9. Oh, duh, my friends, because they are awesome always also. 

10. The gloriousness that is the ID Channel: Candice DeLong’s wig collection for Prez.