Rebecca: 10 Things I’m Thankful For In 2015

1. The wedding is over! Wedding planning just about turned me into a maniac. It sucked! It was so stressful! And I’ll never have to do it again. There were a few commenters on certain articles of mine that said things like, “wow. so much snark. sounds like maybe you could use a little more twee in your life…and your wedding,” because I have been complaining about how awful the wedding industrial complex is since the day I got engaged (well, OK, also before that). But it’s over! It’s over, I’m married, the day was great, and hopefully I’ll only need like two more months of therapy to get over the incredible trauma of wedding stress. (I am of course being facetious.)



2. My prupry. Which is the correct phonetic way to pronounce “puppy,” of course. We adopted Indy in March of this year. Look at her face. Look at it! Is this not the best dog?!


3. This video of Tony Horton doing yoga. He barks! He manages to whisper and yell at the same time! He tells you to “wiggle wiggle wiggle” in a supremely creepy way! I suggest that you turn the volume on your computer ALL the way up before playing the video, because that’s what I did, and it was scary as fuck.

4. David Bowie and “Parks and Recreation,” which have occupied much of the time that I’ve spent stressed out and occasionally very depressed this year, and helped me to hang on until things get better. It’s a little bit of a weird combo, I know, but I try to keep in mind that Darryl “DMC” McDaniels listened to Sarah McLachlan on infinite repeat when he was depressed, so I’m not alone in this process. Whatever works, right?


5. Texas. I just moved here, and IT’S WARM. And it’s NOT WARM in Chicago, which is most of what I need to know to judge this particular life choice.

6. This woman, who apparently fell in love with me at my bachelorette party. I have no idea who she is, but I recall her being a really good hugger. I should write up a missed connections post. “YOU: Very huggy and extremely into my singing Bon Jovi at a karaoke bar. ME: Drunk on Fireball and dressed up as Marceline the Vampire Queen.”

this chick

7. My chiropractor and nutritionist, who fixed five years of chronic pain in the course of about four months. They’re wizards!

8. Skyrim. I bought a graphics laptop and promptly downloaded Skyrim, which people have been telling me to play since it was released in 2011. Now, after 70 hours of gameplay, I’m not just Rebecca: I’m Davy, a level-32 Breton with magical glass armor who gives no damns and beheads people with a battleaxe!


9. My husband, obviously. I feel like if I don’t list Michael, someone will give me flack about it in the comments. But he is really and truly great: His wedding vows were so sweet they made me cry (this is no small feat); when I came out to him as genderqueer he said he didn’t care as long as I still loved him. To my mind, his patience and generosity are the standard to which all other romantically involved people should aspire. Except me, because I’m perfect. I know this, because he tells me so.


10. Jasmine Tridevil. THE TRUTH IS STILL OUT THERE.


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