Megan: 10 Things I’m Thankful For In 2015

The last time I was required to speak on what I was thankful for, I was standing in a circle in my ex-boyfriend’s living room, holding hands with strangers, all of whom seemed perfectly comfortable and at ease with being totally earnest. I’m not sure what I said, but it was clearly influenced by the two glasses of wine on an empty stomach (besides the single dinner roll I’d consumed). At the end of it all, I was still allowed to stay, which probably says more about the kindness of my ex-boyfriend’s parents than it does about me.

The performative nature of Thanksgiving — the literal giving of thanks — and its earnestness doesn’t quite mesh with the way I see myself. Earnestness is not a strong suit. I’m rarely effusive. I find it most effective to dole out those kinds of emotions in increments, thus increasing the value of each moment and keeping everyone on their toes. But Thanksgiving is the most earnest holiday of all, a time for grabbing hands with strangers and standing in your truth about what you are actually thankful for.  Here’s what 2015 gave me:

1. A job. I have one! It’s fine. It’s chill. I’ve not had one in years past and it has sent me into a tailspin of anxiety, self-doubt and general misery. Right now, however, I have a job that provides me with health insurance and a place to write about things like Rihanna and penises. What more could a girl ask for?

2. This video of a flamingo that isn’t feeling well has been one of the things I’m thankful for every year since I discovered it. It brings me immeasurable amounts of joy.

3. Sunday afternoons spent in complete solitude, without speaking to anyone, in a completely empty and silent apartment.

4. All of my teeth. I have all of my teeth. No one really takes into consideration the fact that not having their teeth would genuinely suck. Mine are all in my head. THat’s worth it’s weight in gold.

5. Birkenstocks and their ability to wrap my pontoon-boat feet in the comfort of cork and an orthopedic insole.

6. Shady Gchats with good friends.

7. WEED.

8. My cat, even though she’s probably the devil incarnate and has been spending the past five years of her life in captivity plotting a way to pluck my eyeballs from my head, eat them, and then consume my face.

9. My sisters, who are at times infuriating, aggravating, annoying and wonderful. Mostly the first three, though, and very occasionally, the last.

10. Sweaters, mostly ones of the floppy, oversized variety.