Finally, A Matchmaking Site For Straight Women And Gay Besties Everywhere

Hello. Are you a woman? Are you reading this right now, wondering why your life feels so empty? Do you have no one to sip Cosmos with on Saturday nights? Is there a hole in your life on Sundays, when everyone else is brunching and mimosa-ing and shopping without you? Sounds like you need a gay, missy. And if your area is lacking in gay men yearning for a female bestie to call their own, thank your lucky stars, because there’s a website just for you. It’s called Every Girl Needs A Gay and it is unfortunately not a joke.

Here is their About Us page, which lays out their mission:

Every Girl Needs a Gay is the first friend finder of its kind. We are an online matchmaking service for those seeking their GBF.

We have developed an algorithm system designed to match profiles that will result in bringing together those most compatible.

The rest is up to you, to take the next step – to reach out and introduce yourself and see if there is that connection.

It really is that simple.

Whether looking for an online friendship or a “fun fling”…an occasional companion or a long-term relationship – we are here to help you connect with some amazing friends.

This is basically Adult Friend Finder x OKCupid. The founder, a middle-aged “old hag” who declined to give her name to Mic, said that her reasoning behind making this site was simple: her gay best friend moved from Michigan to Boston in 2007 and she missed him. Surely there were other women like her, separated from their gay best friends and in desperate need of that special je ne sais quoi that only a man who has sex with other men can provide. This service is clearly for them.

Gay men are not accessories or things to be collected, like so many Polly Pockets. They’re people who would consider being friends with you if you happened to be a chill, normal person. Every straight woman doesn’t “need” a gay best friend and I’m pretty sure that if you surveyed a random collection of gay men and asked them if they’d join a matchmaking service to find a straight woman to hitch their wagon to, they’d probably look at you like you were insane and keep walking.

The founder, for what it’s worth, is ready for whatever criticism you might have.

“If the idea is a big fat goose egg … please tell me. I have no ego,” she said. “I’m older than the bloggers and tweeters and maybe have missed the evolution that has taken place between my day and this great new day where there is a broader acceptance of …everyone but a middle aged woman who was just looking for her Boston Gay.”

Lady, it’s cool that you want to find a gay friend, we get it, we all get it. But this is not the way. This. Is. Not. The. Way.