Cheap Dude Demands Refund For Coffee After Woman Declines Second Date
Dating is the pits. Most of us will go on a lot of first dates, with only a percentage getting a second or a third, let alone the paltry few with whom we click well enough for months or years of keeping company. We accept that there will be a certain amount of time/money/effort “lost” in going on dates with people we won’t want to see again, or who won’t want to see us, but it’s worth it because you never know when one of those coffee dates might lead to something more. Sure, it’s frustrating at times, but this is just a fact of life — most first dates are not going to lead to a second date, let alone a relationship, and you just have to suck it up.
But not everyone is so accepting. Take, for example, what happened to London-based blogger Lauren Crouch recently, when she went on a coffee date with a guy she met on Tinder. After 30 minutes of conversation, the dude suggested going back to his place so he could make her dinner. Crouch was uncomfortable with this idea, especially given that they had just met, so she declined. Later, he texted her about going on a second date, and she declined that as well, kindly explaining that she didn’t feel a spark. Thus, he requested a refund. For the coffee.
Later, Crouch wrote on her blog that she doesn’t “come with a money back guarantee,” which I think we can all agree is a fair standard to have in dating. It is absurd to expect a REFUND on what is supposed to be a kind gesture just because you had a statistically unlikely expectation that it would lead to something more, and then it didn’t.
Though I think this guy behaved like a cheap, embarrassing jackass, I am generally sympathetic to the strain dating can put on men’s pocketbooks given that there is still an expectation in many cases that they pay for dates. I always reach for my wallet when I go on dates and have been happy to split the check on those occasions where the guy hasn’t insisted on paying. But I will say that I am more likely to insist on paying my share if I’ve already concluded that I won’t be seeing him again. That’s probably what I would have done if I had been in Crouch’s place, though I do not fault her at all for letting the guy pay for her coffee since he offered.
A woman doesn’t owe a man anything just because he paid for her drink/meal/movie/CUP OF COFFEE, and if he’s unable to look past such an arrangement as anything but a transaction, he should take it upon himself to suggest splitting the check. [The Cut]